In the first slice of every new year, the Golden Globe and the Screen Actors Guild Awards roll out their red carpets to actors of every sex, genre and era. These two awards shows build to the Oscars and compete against each other for best and worst hair, makeup and fashion.

The award hopeful and the woeful trot out to the center pit to be photographed for every publication both print and web. Paparazzi eagerly press in to see if the red carpet celebrities look hot as lava or fell out of a bucket of ugly.

Capelli d'Oro never joined the rabid paprazzi at the events, but did watch the shows with about 60 million other people. Here is our perspective on the best and worse hair for both events.

Our pick for the worst hair was, unfortunately, Sandra Bullock. Although she is one of our most beloved actors, Sandra wore bangs that 16 year old emo girls have trouble pulling off. The makeup made her look like a JC Pennys mannequin and the dress - well, we are not here to rank the fashion but lets be generous and say it worked very well with the hair. She wasn't the only one we have a boy crush on that looked ridiculous: Catherine Zeta Jones was wearing Scarlett O'Hara's green curtains - the ones made in China.

Angelina Jolie looked like she was waiting for the bus after a long day as a cosmetic salesperson in Saks. Every bit of her look was uninspired and made her stylist wish she or he could get a good job waiting tables. The only good thing we could find to say about her look was to point out the small barrette place cheek high on the left side of her plain style.

Natalie Portman looked like a box of Russ3ell Stover Valentine's candy. You know - cheap confections simplistically wrapped. She gets another shot at it with the SAG awards, but this is like your star quarterback going out in the first quarter of the playoffs.

Scarlett Johansen looked like either the bride of Frankenstein or those annoying women in the Trajan commercials who have had their hair blown back and held in an iron gel grip. She still is our beloved Scarlett, so we will stop short of chasing her down the street with torches and pitchforks.

What is the deal with Anne Hathaway? Did the hairdresser - moments ago in the limo - pull Anne's hair out of Velcro rollers and set her aside to cool before styling? Where is evidence of any work? Is she high?

This was not easy for us to relate you, gentle reader. Each of the before mentioned screen personalities are fabulous on the screen and delightful in person, but their presentations at the Golden Globes was not their best work. Happily, the Globes were not all about fashion misfires. Some celebrities showed and glowed.

Sofia Vergara sowed off her Jessica Rabbit silhouette in a watermelon Vera Wang gown that was formed one perfect presentation, combined with her unassuming hair and makeup. This is what UPS calls a perfect package - light, wrapped tight and easily transported to market.

Megan Fox dished up heaven in a pink Armani Privé gown capped with cascading waves and stamped with a Marilyn Monroe tattoo on her arm. We do not know if the tattoo can be converted to James Dean when she wears jeans and boots, but it is an interesting accessory to a lovely look.

Dianna Agron jumps for Glee in a J. Mendel strapless gown and a substantial diamond choker, a bauble that Lindsay Lohan may have "picked up" for her the night before. Her misty Chanel makeup and her 1940s retro hairstyle made her our favorit celebrity of the night.

Lea Michele's hairdresser, Mark Townsend, "knew that her hair should be up with that dress, but she did not want her hair tight off her face or slicked back by any means. We wanted it to be a soft, subtle glamour… perfectly messy texture …and then pulled up with some hair around the face." He pulled it off, all right, and she shows the press that he did it well, indeed.

There were more admirable efforts in the hair department, but it is time to wander several weeks away to the Screen Actors Guild Awards and peruse the best - and worst - of that mid-winter's night dream.

With all of that surgery on display on the red carpet, we do not understand why they are called SAG Awards. The proper acronym could be the TUG Awards - Tighten Up the Grimace Awards. After all, everyone over 14 has had some type of nip and tuck and Hailee is mere months away from her first.

Natalie Portman and Julia Stiles looked amazing. Natalie looked, at the Globes, like someone screwed her updo on and, at the SAG show, looked like the radiant superstar future mom we all know and adore. Fresh-faced Julia Stiles made us all pay attention with her role in Dexter and remind us that she still gives us ten reasons why we love her.

Mila Kunis looked awesome. The Black Swan nominee chose a stunning red Alexander McQueen print gown with a waist-tight belt and a Cartier bracelet. Her dark hair was stunning with soft waves textured lightly with burnished highlights. Her darkly defined eyes and pale pink lips were mystical. This future ex-wife of your author is an absolute stunner and is the reason to watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall 15 times - or is that just a weird thing to do?

The Glee star Dianna Agron wore a black tea-length gown by Chanel Haute Couture and Ferragamo pumps. Her makeup bespoke Chanel and her hair was pulled into a blonde puff of a bun with delicate tendrils falling into a soft bossa nova of beauty.

Versace spokesperson January Jones wore a short-sleeved gold embroidered Carolina Herrera gown. January represented the total Hitchcock blonde - the one who never noticed Hitchcock's awkward veneration but got the biggest location trailer, next to Cary's.

True Grit's breakout star Hailee Steinfeld wore a much-talked-about pink and orange-striped dress from Prada's spring 2011 collection and a Solange Azagury-Patridge ring. She has her own style that does not fit into a pre-cut Hollywood mold and went with it. (Unpaid movie promo follows) If you have not yet seen True Grit, you can go for the story, or the great A-List of stars, it doesn't matter. You will remember her performance and that she held her own with a tough storyline, harder dialogue and scenery-chewing fellow cast members.

The SAGsioree had its own share of shock and augghh.

Was Christinaa Hendricks waiting in her robe and slippers for her gown to be delivered? Her black sequin long-sleeve L'Wren Scott gown did nothing for her and her hair looked washed out. She must have driven past B2V on the way to the show and they could have dropped a little shine in her over-stressed hair, for goodness sakes.

Was Helen Bonham Carter portraying Prince in Waffen SS sunglasses? Her look was a definite improvement from the Cuisinart puree that was her look at the Globes, but she still looked like a junior prom goth that really didn't want to go - especially with Brad, that annoying boy in third period English.

Lea Michele of Glee looked OMG in a plunging Oscar de la Renta metallic gown that - like many gowns of the evening - sported a waist-cinching thin belt. This time, her hair was disheveled in a delightful manner and the trail of her gown formed the letter "L", like in lovely.

There were fewer dog acts in the circus that was the SAG Awards and more flubbed lines in the Golden Globes, but both events had their winners and floosers. Both shows get us to the Oscars, excited about the contest to see who will get the statues and the stares. In that Awards show, the audience may well remember who had the worst hair and dress long after we forget who won and lost the gold-plated britannium door-stoppers.

Raul©2011